Man Calls 911 Because He Can’t Deal With One-Night Stand’s Loud Snoring

Remember the name Benjamin Todd Duddles. He should now be added to every woman’s DO NOT SLEEP WITH LIST. But especially if you live in Waukesha, Wisconsin. In order to get rid of his one-night stand who was “snoring like a train” in his bed, Mr. Duddles called 911 and requested that she be “removed from his bed.”As if one-night stands aren’t precarious enough already. We’ve all been given subtle hints that it’s time to leave the morning after a hookup, but never while we were still asleep. 

When cops arrived, the 41-year-old claimed that he “wasn’t sure” how the snoring lady got in his bed. But finally, he admitted that they got drunk and slept together. Oh … oops. The cops examined the woman, who appeared to be fine except for her sleep apnea. Miraculously, she slept through all of this. Must have been the booze. The police recommended that Duddles sleep on the couch and “work out the ‘issue” in the morning. I’m sure that there won’t be much to work out. Once the snoring lady wakes up and finds out what transpired, she’ll be raring to get the fuck out of there. [NY Daily News]

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