The Jonas Brothers Have Officially Broken Up

  • After canceling their recent tour, The Jonas Brothers have announced they unanimously decided to break up their band. Sorry, teenaged girls. [Just Jared]
  • Chris Brown’s assault charge from this weekend has been reduced from a felony to a misdemeanor. Brown punched a man outside a hotel in Washington, D.C. after the guy allegedly tried to photobomb a picture Brown was taking with two women. [US Weekly]
  • “Jimmy Kimmel Live” did a skit where a child joked about killing Chinese people to get the United States out of debt, which has prompted an apology from ABC. [People]
  • Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, is calling on states to clarify their “stand your ground” laws, as they are currently “open to abuse.” Understatement of the year. [NBC News]
  • A Sriracha chili sauce company is in trubs for spicing up the air around a factory in Irwindale, California, causing burning eyes and headaches for residents. [Guardian UK]
  • Hyperbole and a Half cartoonist Allie Brosh opens up about her struggle with depression and sexism in comedy. [Salon]
  • Dax Shephard joked that getting hitched to Kristen Bell at the county clerk’s office cost only $142 and was the “world’s worst wedding.” Hey, don’t knock City Hall weddings until you try it! [Huffington Post]
  • Britney Spears’ music is being used to scare off Somali pirates. [Idolator]

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[Image via Splash News]