Does everyone wear their wedding ring (and engagement ring, if they have one) or is it just me who takes it off, uh, most of the time?
My mom gave my husband her engagement ring to give to me when we got engaged — it’s absolutely lovely, an emerald surrounded by diamonds. I grew up watching my mom wear that ring and I felt very touched that I would be the one wearing it now. But she said something that stuck in my mind as she and my dad and Kale and I sat around toasting with champagne: “You take this off when you die.”
I know she meant, like, one doesn’t take one’s ring off in the Macy’s dressing room where it will get lost faster than you can say “oops.” But the truth is that I actually don’t wear my engagement ring, or my pavé diamond wedding band that Kale bought for me, very much at all.
Oh, I put them on — but I end up taking them off a lot. When I’m lotioning my hands. When I’m taking out the trash. When I’m scrubbing dirty dishes. When I hop in the shower. When I’m eating messy, gooey pulled pork. When I’m going to bed at night.
I know that rings can be cleaned and neither one will be ruined by lotion, barbecue sauce, hot water, or shampoo. If that were possible, the engagement ring would have been ruined by my mom 35 years ago, probably by poopy diapers and kid barf. It’s hard for me to conceptualize their steadfastness, though — in my mind, it’s expensive jewelry that I should take really good care of, which means not touching them. I’ve never owned even remotely expensive jewelry before, so I feel like I have to be extra-super-duper-careful.
For the first couple of days that I was engaged, I was terrified I’d ruin the ring somehow. Same, too, with the wedding band. I put them in my jewelry box when I was at home and on my desk, sitting atop my Post-It notes, at work. The irony, of course, is that I’m not going to lose either ring by keeping it on my finger. I’m going to lose it by taking them off to rub cream on my hands and accidentally knocking them on the floor.
The other irony is that Kale wears his wedding band all the time. I have not seen his ring finger with the band off in the past three weeks, in fact. I thought my husband was going to be one of those dudes, like Prince William, who does not wear a wedding band at all because he isn’t into jewelry. And Kale definitely isn’t into jewelry of any kind. Yet he very sweetly and romantically wears his wedding band all the time — even at bedtime, and eating pulled pork, and carrying leaky trash bags. It still looks as good as new.
I don’t feel like a “bad wife,” whatever that means, for not wearing the rings as often as he does. Everyone knows that I’m married because I tell them and then I make them look at pictures of us on my iPhone. I do feel afraid, though, that my mom and/or him may take it personally and be offended by my lack of ring wearing. Mom, if you’re reading this, it’s not because I don’t like them or feel any sort of Carrie Bradshaw-esque reluctance about marriage.
So I guess there’s only one thing to do: put those puppies on and go eat some pulled pork in the shower.
Do Frisky readers wear their engagement rings and wedding bands all the time or do you take them off? Tell us in the comments!
Email me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter.
[Wedding rings via Shutterstock]