Let’s be real: horror movie boyfriends are kind of dumb.
From wanting to have sex in the woods, to their leaving the basement door unlocked, to not keeping bullets in their gun, it’s almost as if these chuckleheads don’t realize they’re in a horror movie! I mean, come on, guys. Since, in any horror flick, it’s usually the sweet, unsuspecting girlfriend who first gets killed, we thought we’d give these boneheads some tips. God knows they need them.
After the jump, here’s eight tips for horror movie boyfriends (so your girlfriend won’t get killed by zombies):
1. Don’t go into the haunted insane asylum to have sex. Just don’t.
2. If you keep getting strange calls from someone with a creepy voice from an unmarked number, stop answering the phone.
3. Take the psychic / craggy old witch / strange man in the woods seriously when he says there’s a demon / ghost / zombie afoot.
4. Don’t leave your girlfriend alone in the haunted forest / dark basement.
5. If someone is going to get eaten by a werewolf, you should offer yourself up as a sacrifice. That’s called chivalry.
6. Make sure the battery on your cell phone is always charged.
7. And stop trying to be so macho.
8. Last but not least, just get out of that haunted house. I mean, really.
Email me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter.
[Image via IMDB.com]