If you’re not planning to hand out candy or take your niece trick-or-treating, chances are you’ll be spending this Halloween at a party. Whether your soiree of choice is a crazy frat party, a high-end fundraiser, a random house party, or a costume contest at a bar, the signs that a Halloween party has run its course are always the same. Here are 10 indicators that it’s time to pack up your broomstick and head home…
1. You are literally the only person at the party not wearing a Miley Cyrus costume.
2. The “Monster Mash” CD has been skipping for 20 minutes and no one seems to have noticed.
3. The girl who came dressed as “Sexy Osama Bin Laden” is sloppily making out with a guy wearing a Navy SEAL uniform with no sense of irony.
4. Everyone took off the most important parts of their costumes and is walking around in leotards, leggings, and smeared makeup.
5. A super drunk girl is standing on the table ranting about how Halloween was stolen from the Pagans.
6. There’s a rumor going around that someone actually barfed in the barfing pumpkin party dip.
7. The guy who’s dressed as a rooster is threatening to show everyone his “cock’s cock.”
8. Paula Deen is twerking.
9. The Jack-o-lanterns on the porch are being used for unsavory purposes.
10. Your leg just got peed on by a dog dressed as Walter White.
[Photo of Halloween party via Shutterstock]