A depressing new study conducted at the University of Toronto explored couples’ real motivations to have sex. Researches found that they were able to group peoples’ reasons for doing the deed into two categories: approach (“I want to increase intimacy” or “I want to feel better about myself”) or avoidance (“I don’t want to feel guilty” or “I don’t want to get into a fight about it”). As you might have suspected, the couples who approached sex rather than avoided it tended to feel more satisfied in their relationships. But still, this made us sad. Whatever happened to having sex just because it’s fun and exciting? Last time we checked it was one of the few purely enjoyable activities for grown-ups (cue the existential ennui of adulthood.) We happen to think sex should be like a carnival in your bed, which is why we’ve come up with these strange and wonderful ways to make it feel more like one, and convince even the most sex-avoidant couples that sex can and should be FUN! [WSJ via NYMag.com]
1. Turn your bed into an Operation game board. Use lipstick and eyeliner to draw the outlines of organs on your partner’s naked bod. Try to perform a flawless appendectomy and have them use a vibrator as a buzzer.
2. Sexy shadow puppets. Hand shadow puppets are so played out. Use penis and boobs instead and stage a raunchy shadow play about Jabba the Hut and a tall man in a helmet.
3. Spring Breeeeaaaaaak! Invest in a sun lamp. Put on your tiniest bikini and do tequila body shots off each other. Use the We-Vibe Thrill as a hand blender to make margaritas. Stage a wet t-shirt contest in your bathroom. Scream “WOOOOO!” a lot.
4. Adult ball pit. Recreate the best part of the McDonald’s play area and put a ball pit in your house. Feel around to figure out which balls are plastic and which balls are TESTICLES.
5. Birthday party in the bed. Who doesn’t want a birthday party? Whether or not it’s actually your partner’s birthday, set up a full birthday party in the bed with pizza, cake, presents, the works. And don’t forget the best part: birthday sex!
6. Penis karaoke. Use his penis as a microphone to belt out your best rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” You’ll both be raring to go by the instrumental break.
7. Pin the butt plug on the donkey. Take turns being the donkey.
8. Indoor camping trip. Set up a sex tent in the living room. Play a CD of bird sounds. Go naked canoeing in your bathtub. Do some naughty camp counselor role playing.
9. Bedroom club scene. Hire someone to DJ your sexual escapades. Don’t forget the strobe light and fog machine. For extra realism, invite a rowdy bachelorette party to repeatedly request Katy Perry songs while you’re trying to fuck.
[Photo from Shutterstock]