The Kitten Bowl Is Here, And It’s Smarter, Cleaner, And More Agile Than The Puppy Bowl

The Puppy Bowl is cool and all, but there’s only so long I can watch a bunch of dogs tumbling around before I’m like, “Where them kittens at?” The Hallmark Channel must have heard my plaintive brays, because they confirmed that they will be staging a Kitten Bowl come Super Bowl Sunday 2014. (Also, they announced this back in April, but I must have missed it so I’m going to go ahead and assume you did too.) The network has just announced that Beth Stern (that’s Howard’s wife) will host, Yankees radio announcer John Sterling will give the play-by-play, and — this is the best part — the festivities, featuring 60 to 70 kittens, will run from noon to 9 p.m. It’s perfect, because watching kittens on television is literally the only thing I could feasibly enjoy doing for nine hours straight. [Vulture] [Image of mother cat and kittens via Shutterstock]