When digging through the bowels of the internet, you tend to find both shit and nuggets of gold. Sometimes, you find both. The shitnugget interweb discovery of the day (thank you, Amelia) is a website called Poopie Poems, featuring the largest collection of poop poetry on the web. You can browse through well-crafted Haipoops, Rhyming Shitlets, and Free Turds, which explore the scatological crisis and moving movements all of us experience in life. I got choked up reading Mr. T’s A New Life Is Born As The Toilet Flushes… which describes one man’s last doodie before he becomes a daddy. Check out the full poem after the jump.
Sitting on the can while my wife is in labor,
Pushing and pushing, this is a moment I’d like to savor.
My last loop before I become a dad,
Primary objective: make this bathroom smell bad.
A green stinky haze floats up from the ground.
Down below I see my work, a large poopie mound.
Aromas are intoxicating, quickly filling the nursery ward,
Across the hall, an old lady yelling, the smell is running her over like a ford.
So as I finish my last little wipe,
I hear my wife yelling in a drugged up hype.
The moment has come.
This poop forever it will not last,
Its time to be a dad this doodie has passed.
[Photo from Shutterstock]