Covering Up Naked, Immodest Barbies Is Apparently A Thing

There are people who are worried that Barbies give little girls unrealistic expectations about their bodies.

Then there are people who are worried that when Barbie’s clothes come off, she is naked.

Justin and Cassity, the bloggers behind the DIY remodeling blog Remodelaholic*, are those people. I came across their “No More Naked Barbies!!! Tutorial” on Pinterest, assuming it would be yet another pin about how to make DIY doll clothes for American Girl dolls, Bitty Babies, or Barbies. Then I noticed the hashtag #modest.

Yes, Cassity — who wrote the post — is teaching you how to cover up your childrens’ Barbies because doll nudity is immodest. She said she was inspired by “a mother, like myself who was sick of seeing unclad barbies lying around willy nillly.”

Cassity tried de-sluttifying the naked Barbie by drawing on a (one-piece, natch) bathing suit with a black Sharpie:

“We only had one Barbie at the time, and call me a prude if you must, but you better believe I got my sharpie out and drew on that cute little suit.”

But the look she was going for wasn’t Bondage Barbie In The 50 Shades Of Grey Red Room, which is the effect one gets when covering Barbie up in all black. Then she got a better Barbie-covering idea: nail polish. So she ripped her dolls’ clothes off — but not before posing her kindergarten-age daughter for a photograph frowning next to her naked dolls —  and painted colorful suits on each.

The final result:

Hey everyone!  It looks like a MODEST pool party on the roof of the Barbie Dream house! … So excited about having modest Barbies around in between outfit changes!  If you like this idea please share it!

If the mom is happy now and this means she doesn’t constantly ask her kid to put some clothes on her dolls, fine. But what I find so ridiculous about this is that Barbie (and Ken and Skipper) dolls don’t even have genitalia. She objects to a nude doll who isn’t even anatomically correct! And anyway, what is she going to do when her kids want American Girl Dolls? Their clothes come off, too, (although they have no boobs to speak of). Will she cover up their genitalia as well? Does the pet dog have to wear underpants because he’s nude “willy nilly,” too?

I can’t wait until this lady’s kids mash Barbie and Ken together and she shrieks “MODEST BARBIE DOES NOT DO THAT!”

(*The rest of their DIY projects — the ones that have to do with home decor and not slutty Mattel toys — on their blog are actually pretty rad.)


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