A Minneapolis woman who is now pretty much my hero seems to have gotten fed up with the helpless feeling that comes along with being leered at on the street. She posted an open letter to the man who shouted nasty comments at her from his car on Craigslist Missed Connections, basically voicing the internal monologue of every begrudging catcall recipient there ever was.
The woman, who calls herself “the blonde you shouted at,” tells it like it is and explains just how damaging the dude’s actions are with statements like:
…Thanks to you I would spend the entire train ride home feeling scrutinized and gross because you didn’t have the willpower or maturity to keep your mouth shut; that your wife and daughters or at the very least your mother deserve better than a cowardly man who shouts at women from the safety of his car.
Let me make this abundantly clear, to you and to the other men reading this: when you comment on a woman’s appearance, you are not doing it for her. You are doing it for you. It’s not some great way to make a woman feel sexy and appreciated. It’s not flattery, even if you mean for it to be. The only thing it is is a great way for you to create a shitty power dynamic, by which you have announced yourself as the arbiter of her value, and you’ve deemed her fuckable, and she is supposed to be happy or impressed by that.
Even if he never reads it (I hope he did), a whole lot of other people have who may have needed to see it. This girl rocks.