“DrakeHands” Are Not The Way To Woo A Lady

Before the days of smartphones and social media, a guy trying to pick you up in, say, a Starbucks, would slip you his number on a recycled napkin and call it a day. Perhaps, if he was feeling particularly bold, he might sketch a picture of you drinking a latte that you could file away in your scrapbook, deciding it might be best never to call him because that’s a little weird. Nowadays, a man a’ wooing has so many more opportunities to be strange. He could send you a seduction video, for example.

Behold the now interwebs infamous video of “StarbucksDrakeHands”, an unidentified man who hit on a girl in a Los Angeles Starbucks and after getting her number, sent this Instagram masterpiece set to the tune of “Hold On We’re Going Home” by Drake. Naturally, after watching the hard-to-wrap-your-mind-around display of misguided narcissism, the girl sent it to her friends who sent to their friends and so on. Because how could you not? It’s just too special. “StarbucksDrakeHands” might have failed at wooing, but he should be proud of himself for inspiring a twitter hashtagthousands of parodies and setting an example of how not to reach out to a girl. Note to all other men, the ladies are not really into the whole adult peek-a-boo thing. It’s causes a whole slew of hormonal misfires. Below, my best “DrakeHands.” Because I couldn’t resist. [The Stir]