Winos Don’t Know How Much Wine They Drink Because What Does It Matter? More Wine Please!

How do I put this in a way that won’t lead my coworkers and family to stage an intervention? I am a functioning wino, by which I mean I drink a lot of wine, but I’m always on time for work, rarely get wasted or have drunken outbursts, and smell just fine, thank you. How much wine do I drink? LOL I’m not telling you because I don’t necessarily know that I could quantify it. And I’m not alone! A new study out of Iowa of all places (not the Napa Valley or my apartment?) found that most wine drinkers have no idea how much they’re drinking — or how drunk they are — because they’re just, like, not paying attention I guess? The Des Moines Register reports:

The study, published in Substance Use and Misuse, found that participants poured 12 percent more wine into a wide glass than a narrow glass. They also poured 12 percent more wine into a glass they were holding, versus one placed on a table. Color contrast affected pours, too. Participants over-poured white wine into a clear glass by 10 percent. There was less over-pouring when the wine was red.

Well, for starters, what is this “narrow glass” they speak of? A champagne flute? I don’t use those, not even for champagne because they are small and unwieldy. As for over-pouring … actually, I’m protesting the widely accepted falsity that a serving size of wine should be 5 oz. I mean, pouring 10-12 percent more wine in our glasses seems to come naturally to us wine aficionados. Perhaps we are on to something! If the glass isn’t overflowing, what’s the problem? Although I guess it’s true that I do pour less wine in my glass if it’s red, but that’s because if there’s a chance of spilling, I would rather spill a smaller glass of red wine than a larger one because of the stain/cleanup factor. I’m practical like that. Stop judging me, study! [Des Moines Register]