Dear Joe Salter, AKA The Guy Who Ran An Entire Marathon Backward While Juggling,
Some of the qualities I most admire in a man are a sense of humor, cardiovascular health, and superb hand-eye coordination. Based on the fact that you recently completed Illinois’ Quad Cities Marathon while running backward and continuously juggling, I feel confident that you meet all of these standards. You might have missed out on a Guinness World Record due to a tragic technicality (certain parts of the race didn’t allow filming, so they can’t verify your feat), but you have endurance-juggled your way right into my heart. Care to meet me for a jog — backward or forward — sometime?