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What One Woman Learned When She Threw Herself A Fake Bachelorette Party

How Desirable Is Unavailable?
Fake Bachelorette party

If Z100 announces it’s “an emerging trend,” you know it’s time to run out and throw yourself a fake bachelorette party. At least that’s what single 20-something blogger Bonnie Gleicher and her group of girlfriends did. It’s unclear as to why fake bachelorette showers are suddenly a thing — why would anyone want to wear penis hats in public unless they absolutely HAD to? — but in Gleicher’s case, she and her friends chose to parade around NYC’s West Village in tiaras and garter belts, taking turns pretending to be the bide-to-be, to answer one question: How desirable is unavailable? The results of her social experiment were really interesting and also kind of sad.

As you might expect, a group of women dressed in full bachelorette regalia got lots of male attention. But not necessarily the kind of attention you’d predict. The thing that shocked Gleicher so much was the way men were able to emotionally connect with the woman playing the part of bride:

“While yes, there was lots of mouth-to-garter action and I was ‘twerked on’ against a booth, one very surprising thing happened more than any of the above: Men talked … We’re talking very handsome, funny, smart, kind, high-quality men who were swooping over to our tables, talking only to the unavailable bachelorette and opening up about their lives and their relationships … With minimum potential for sex, no rejection and no demands and expectations lassoing them in, these men confidently established that elusive and golden male-to-female emotional connection, throwing our first assumption — that guys would chase after getting ‘that one last fling’– out the window, which shocked us all.”

The fake brides-to-be didn’t just affect the men in weird way. Playing bride had a profound impact on the women by helping “reveal what [they] truly wanted and were ready for.” From confessions of wanting to get married someday to being hit with the gravity of being with one person forever, Gleicher explained how the women playing bride experienced a sense of “heightened wisdom” about their love lives.

The conclusion? Unavailable isn’t desirable, but it is welcoming. When sex is off the table, men and women are able to foster a deeper emotional connection than they would if they were single. Which is ironic because that’s exactly the real kind of connection you’re searching for when you’re single. That’s the depressing part. Only when she was a fake bride was Gleicher able to fully engage with a guy she would date. “If I was single in his eyes, he wouldn’t have listened to me,” she laments.

So this is what it’s come to? Pretending we’re walking down the aisle to foster the kind of connection that will lead us there? There must be a better way. Because, like I said, tiaras and penis hats are just embarrassing. [Huffington Post]

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