Let’s play choose your own relationship adventure. Suppose one day you make your boyfriend a turkey and Swiss sandwich on toasted wheat bread. (This would never happen in my world because I don’t cook, but I am suspending disbelief for the sake of the game.) Then imagine that after he devours your sandwich he says: “Honey, you’re 299 sandwiches away from an engagement ring!” Do you: A) Break up with him because that’s an exceptionally bizarre and kind of sexist proposition and you’re not down with trying to “earn” a ring or B) Step up to the plate and prove that you are wife material by making him 300 sandwiches and and blogging about it?
In a somewhat disturbing New York Post profile, which reads as outdated advice about how to prove you’ll make a great wifey, Page Six reporter Stephanie Smith recounts how she took on the challenge of making her boyfriend Eric (described as a “Star Wars” obsessed Alexander Skarsgård look-alike) 300 sammies in exchange for a ring. Because to him, “sandwiches are like kisses or hugs. Or sex.” You can read all about Smith’s quest to woo Sandwich Boyfriend with cold cuts on wheat in enough time “to get engaged, married and have babies before [exiting her] childbearing years” on her blog, 300Sandwiches.com. Oh, she also shares her gourmet sammie recipes.
Now on sandwich 177, Smith still wants to “get engaged and get married and live happily ever after,” but says she’s “put less pressure on the race to the
ring 300th sandwich and is just enjoying cooking with Eric.”
“Today, I’ve made and blogged about 176 sandwiches. Over the months, my creations have grown more complex — lobster rolls, bánh mìs, pulled pork. No matter what’s on the menu, Eric smiles and says thank you. He’s just happy I cook for him at all,” Smith writes.
And Sandwich Boyfriend? He has some sage, 1950′s-style advice for all the women who dream of being wives:
“You women read all these magazines to get advice on how to keep a man, and it’s so easy. We’re not complex. Just do something nice for us. Like make a sandwich.”
If only it were that simple, Sandwich Boyfriend. Let’s see if he proposes after the next 124 meals. [NYPost]