A Brief Eulogy For The Frog Who Got Blasted By NASA’s Rocket Launch

We are gathered here today to honor and pay our respects to Frog, the victim of NASA’s recent rocket launch. While Frog’s dramatic mode of passing may have produced an undeniably humorous photo, we realize that getting blasted 40 feet into the air by a rocket is not particularly pleasant for any species, and therefore we must temper our laughter and internet memes with a bit of somber reflection upon Frog’s life.

Born a tadpole near NASA’s Flight Facility in Wallops Island, Virginia, Frog went through an awkward phase as a froglet (didn’t we all?) before finally reaching adulthood. Frog enjoyed leisurely evening swims, catching flies, and was never one to turn down a juicy worm. Frog was also an avid fisherman. Friends of Frog will never forget the largemouth bass incident of 2011 — you might say Frog had a tendency to bite off a little more than he could chew!

Frog was an active member of a local chorus, singing baritone and gaining a certain degree of notoriety around the pond for soulful solo croaks. Sigh. One thing’s for sure: the launch pad pool will be a much quieter place in the days to come.

While we may mourn now, we must remember that Frog’s legacy will live on in the explorations and discoveries of the rocket that took its life. Frog may have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but the launch of LADEE was, by non-amphibian standards, a total success. The rocket is now on its way to orbit the moon and collect valuable information about the lunar atmosphere. Isn’t that what Frog would have wanted?

Might I suggest that every time we glance up at the moon, or sing a song, or eat a fly, that we think of Frog, and in this way, Frog’s memory will endure. Rest in peace, Frog. You will be missed.