“The Little Mermaid” Is Returning To Theaters — In The Most Annoying Way Possible

When I heard “The Little Mermaid” was coming back to theaters, I immediately started sobbing with joy and planning the outfit I would wear to go see it (something subtle like a flared skirt with green sequins and a seashell bra). There was just no way I would ever miss the opportunity to see one of my favorite Disney movies on the big screen. Even if I got food poisoning the day of the screening, or there was a fire in the theater, I would tough it out, and I would sing along with “Under The Sea,” and I would be jealous of Ariel’s hair, and I would struggle to reconcile my strong feminist values with a movie about a woman giving up her voice for a man she doesn’t even know, and it would be glorious.

But as I watched Disney’s promotional video about the release, I discovered there actually was one thing that might keep me from seeing “The Little Mermaid” in theaters: if everyone was instructed to bring their iPads to the movie theater and play with them the whole time instead of, you know, watching the freakin’ movie. Yep, Disney is calling the release “Second Screen Live,” which means all audience members are supposed to download a “Little Mermaid” iPad app and pretty much ignore the movie on the big screen in favor of “playing along” on their tablets. I do not like this, Disney. I do not like this at all.

Will I still pay to go see it in theaters? Probably. Will I spend the entire time groaning and grumbling like a bitter old man about the good old days when people actually watched movies? Definitely. I think Sebastian said it best: “The human world? It’s a mess.” [Uproxx]