PETA Says Eating Chicken Wings While Pregnant Will Affect Your Unborn Child’s Penis Size
I appreciate what PETA does, but when they take it too far, they really take it too far. They recently sent a letter to the founder of the National Buffalo Wing Festival warning them that they should ban pregnant women from eating wings because scientific evidence suggests that the sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have significantly smaller penises. The culprit? Chemical compounds called phthalates, which are found in poultry.
Below is an excerpt of the letter written by Lindsay Rajt, the Associate Director of Campaigns at PETA:
I’m reaching out again to ask you at least to take steps to ensure the safety of pregnant women by barring them from taking part in your contests. As I will explain, consuming poultry while pregnant may lead to birth defects in utero, including smaller-than-average penises for newborn boys. I think we can agree that embarrassment and insecurity are no small matters.
Findings published by the Study for Future Families showed that eating poultry during pregnancy may lead to smaller penis size in male infants. Looking at dairy products, eggs, fish, fruit, bird meat, potatoes, tomatoes, vegetables, and red meat, researchers found the most significant link between chicken consumption and decreased penis size because of a chemical compound found in the meat. Furthermore, evidence indicates that heterosexual women’s sexual satisfaction depends in part on their partner’s penis size.
Even the cruelest of bedroom ridicule pales in comparison to the suffering that smart, sensitive chickens endure for the wings so casually consumed in contests such as these…Now that you are well endowed with this information, I hope you will have the backs of future Buffalo residents and visitors by not allowing their pregnant mothers to participate in the wing-eating contest.
I give it an “A” for effort, a “B+” for penis punnage and “D-” for rationality. Actually, the Buffalo Wing Festival sounds fun. I wonder if it typically attracts a ton of preggo ladies. [PETA via Gothamist]
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