Diets, man! What a bitch. As a human with a particular fondness for bread, cheese, and meat and a diminutive frame that, presented with the opportunity, will take all of those calories, thank you very much, and keep them forever and ever, I am almost always on some sort of depressing leafy-greens-and-lean-protein restriction. For health, you know? I do it all for health. I’m cautiously assuming that Health is also the reason why Valentino Garavani, the Italian fashion designer formerly responsible for his eponymous house of Valentino and person maybe made of leather, has what strikes me as the saddest eating regimen of all time. Quoth a profile in Harper’s Bazaar:
I try to eat a simple diet: no sugar, no milk, no dairy except goat cheese, no gluten pasta, Bio Rice, no meat, some fish (not the ones with mercury), vegetables, no potatoes, no bread except rice crackers or grissini, one glass of red wine, sugarless sherbet, all sweets made with almond milk and xylitol sweetener, and one coffee a day.
I realize that some people really get off on exclusively consuming food items that are Good For You, and I aspire to one day have the good sense and self-control to be one of these people. I really do! But man, oh man, do I have the secondhand sads for Valentino right now. All that’s left for me to do is to have an extra meat and cheese sandwich today in his honor. [The Gloss]