Celine Dion’s Mansion Can Be Yours … For Just $72.5 Million

Celine Dion is putting her infamously extravagant Florida mansion on the market, and I think if we pool all of our life savings, we can maybe afford to buy … one of the lawn chairs. The asking price for this 10,000 square-foot love nest is $72.5 million, which does seem like a lot, doesn’t it? But! When you consider what you’re getting for the money — a massage room, a movie theater, a tennis court, a simulated golfing range, an automated shoe carousel, a vast water park, an 8-room guest house, a lazy river, 400 feet of private beach, and the chance to breathe the same air as the greatest entertainer of our time, well, it starts to sound like a steal, doesn’t it? (Kidding. It is still exorbitantly expensive.) Queen Celine is reportedly selling the property because her recent decision to extend her contract at Caesar’s Palace until 2019 (hollllaaaaaa!!!) requires her to be closer to Sin City. Oh well, her loss, our gain! I’ve got, like, $400 to chip in. Let’s make this happen. [WSJ]