12 “Art Shows” I’d Rather See Than A Dick Pic Art Show
For those of you who do not live in or near New York City, here is something you need to know: Bushwick, Brooklyn is the most annoying, pretentious, gentrified neighborhood in the whole world, filled with the most annoying, pretentious gentrifiers in the whole world. I moved there once and hastily moved out less than two months later. It’s that annoying. It’s like “Girls” in real life. So OF COURSE a Bushwick art gallery is doing a show about dick pics. Four women have collected 300 dick pics, including ones they themselves received, and framed the images for your gag-reflex-inducing cultural edification.
Please, ladies! Georgia O’Keefef you are not. Let’s not even touch upon how these images are being used without the dick-owner’s consent —which is all kinds of unethical — according to the New York Observer. I can think of an endless number of photography-based art shows that I would rather see than a collection of strange men’s dick pics, such as:
- Barf on public transportation.
- The communal toilets in every office that always gets clogged with four pounds of someone’s shit and toilet paper in it.
- Dried kale chips caught between someone’s teeth.
- Closeups of all the bacteria on your cell phone screen.
- Spiders eating bugs. Or small birds.
- Things stuck in gum.
- Dirty diapers floating in beach water.
- Dust mites eating dead skin flakes … in your bedsheets.
- Toddlers picking their noses. Like, really going for it.
- Cat litter. Used cat litter.
- Mold growing the inside of the shower curtain.
- Barnyard childbirth.
- Still images from a Dr. Phil sex tape.
But maybe I just don’t understand art.
[Art show image via Shutterstock]