12 “Art Shows” I’d Rather See Than A Dick Pic Art Show

For those of you who do not live in or near New York City, here is something you need to know: Bushwick, Brooklyn is the most annoying, pretentious, gentrified neighborhood in the whole world, filled with the most annoying, pretentious gentrifiers in the whole world. I moved there once and hastily moved out less than two months later. It’s that annoying. It’s like “Girls” in real life. So OF COURSE a Bushwick art gallery is doing a show about dick pics. Four women have collected 300 dick pics, including ones they themselves received, and framed the images for your gag-reflex-inducing cultural edification.

Please, ladies! Georgia O’Keefef you are not. Let’s not even touch upon how these images are being used without the dick-owner’s consent —which is all kinds of unethical — according to the New York Observer.  I can think of an endless number of photography-based art shows that I would rather see than a collection of strange men’s dick pics, such as:

  1. Barf on public transportation.
  2. The communal toilets in every office that always gets clogged with four pounds of someone’s shit and toilet paper in it.
  3. Dried kale chips caught between someone’s teeth.
  4. Closeups of all the bacteria on your cell phone screen.
  5. Spiders eating bugs. Or small birds.
  6. Things stuck in gum.
  7. Dirty diapers floating in beach water.
  8. Dust mites eating dead skin flakes … in your bedsheets.
  9. Toddlers picking their noses. Like, really going for it.
  10. Cat litter. Used cat litter.
  11. Mold growing the inside of the shower curtain.
  12. Barnyard childbirth.
  13. Still images from a Dr. Phil sex tape.

But maybe I just don’t understand art.

[New York Observer]

[Art show image via Shutterstock]