Please Tell Me How I Can Attend NYC’s New Avant-Garde Preschool

Imagine, if you will, a magical place. The decor is “Mad Men” meets “Free to be You and Me.” While you are at the magical place, you wear a kimono and take a naps while listening to the new Sigur Ros album. When you wake up, you do some body painting, yoga stretches, play Latvian memory games, and eat a lunch of sardines while pretending to be a dolphin.

No, this is not a fantastical daydream I just had. And no, this not the concept for a new children’s television show created by David Lynch. This is the ACTUAL description of a new avant-garde  “anti-preschool” opening it’s doors on October 1st on New York’s Upper West Side. For a fee of $2,100 a month, children ages three months to five years old will be able to apply to Upper Valley Preschool. Founder Maria Dantos says she hopes to a create a “cooperative vibe” where democracy rules and she “knows everybody and what they had for lunch.”

I know I’ve far surpassed pre-school age, but this is the kind of institution I’ve always dreamed of attending. At 34, I finally have the maturity to appreciate it such an education. This puts Walfdorf schools to shame. Who wants to pay my tuition so I can spend the day learning how to make dolphin noises? [DNA Info]