The Lifecycle Of Emotional Reactions To James Franco
James Franco is not the most popular cat around The Frisky offices. We even coined a saying for when someone sends you too many links about Franco’s latest annoying antics, catching you off guard and ruining your day: “I’ve been Franco-ed.” (Everyone knows not to Franco Julie when she has a migraine. Not a good combo.) Being Franco-ed is the worst.
But, really, it hasn’t always been that way. In fact, my emotional reactions to the existence of James Franco have come full circle. I imagine it is the same for most of you (don’t lie). Look, I even made an infographic! Let’s review…
Attraction: Okay, so, I can think of a time where my loins burned for James — “Freaks and Geeks,” hello. Ughhh, and remember when he played James Dean? Panty. Dropper.
Admiration: Then I saw him in “Milk” and “127 Hours” and was amazed by his talent. His willingness to really go there in a role is so impressive. And he could do comedy too! “Pineapple Express” made me cry with laughter. Franco has so much range.
Annoyance: Hmm, then he started to take himself really seriously, didn’t he? Like he thought he was so smart that he needed to spread his vast intelligence across as many fields as possible — that explains the 37 side careers, right? He even took a guest starring role on “General Hospital” and called it performance art. Eye. Roll.
Abhorrence: I mean, he did so much that I guess the Academy assumed he would really bring it as an Oscar host, but nooooo. James totally phoned it in, the fucking slacker. How unprofessional! And then! Then! That pretentious twat wrote a ridiculously bad and self-satisfied poem for President Obama’s second term inauguration and I was just, like, done. I didn’t even take note when I heard he was starring in a new Harmony Korine movie with a bunch of Disney pop stars. Why would I? James Franco is terrible.
Amusement: You know, sometimes my dog Lucca, when she’s squinting, looks just like James Franco. Exact same stoned look. Hee hee! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, speaking of James Franco, I finally got around to watching “Spring Breakers” this weekend, because there was nothing else to watch, and WHOA. Have you seen that movie? That shit was so funny. And weird. And awesome. Seriously, I liked it so much I watched it twice! And oh my god, James Franco. Hilarious! Who knew?! James, you’re not so bad after all.
And not bad looking either… You could Franco me anytime.