Don’t Get Caught Brown-Handed — Use Poop Mittens! (NSFW)

By: Jessica Wakeman / August 16, 2013

Shittens are disposable moist wipe mittens to protect your hands from getting errant doody on them while wiping yourself, a baby’s bum, or any other gross orifice you may come in contact with. “In general, Shittens are for fecal emergencies. But feel free to live like a Rockefeller and enjoy a Shitten every time you [poop],” their web site brags. “Listen to your heart… you’ll know when it’s the right time to grab a Shitten.” Not a joke. Yup, totally real. FDA -approved an everything!  A box of 20 Shittens will only set you back $9.95. I hope all of the dough goes to the acoustic guitarist and singer who earnestly sings “Don’t get brown-handed, put on a Shitten, try the new wet wipe shaped like a mitten!” in the Shitten commercial. Highlight of his career. [Get Shittens via Laughing Squid]