Things I Don’t Understand: Liquid Lapdance Underwear For Men

Warning, the commercial for Liquid Lapdance, the world’s first male undergarment designed specifically for lap dances, is very NSFW and it contains a simulated lap dance that looks nothing like any I’ve ever seen before (and I’ve been to a few strip clubs in my time). But, let’s watch it together and try to make sense of it. That was interesting, you’re probably thinking, but I still have not a clue as to how Liquid Lapdance underwear work. Well, according to the website, “the best strip club invention since the pole,” are men’s underwear (never shown) with a soft-latex extension that moisturizes and lubricates the penis, provides room for an erection, takes the pain out of those pesky “dry lap dances” and holds semen after an orgasm so dudes can relax and focus on what’s important: making it rain.

So, tell me if I’m wrong, but a guy’s looking at paying $19.95 for what is basically a pair of underwear with a built in condom so they can walk around with spunk in their pants for the rest of the night? That seems like a waste of money. Mark from Louisiana, who left a glowing testimonial on the site, seems to think Liquid Lapdance manties are well worth the splurge: Our bachelor party will go down in history as one of the best. Sixteen guys walked into the (strip club) ALL wearing Liquid Lapdance. It was HILARIOUS. Dances felt so good I’d have let the groom sit on my lap… ALMOST!”

Sounds like we all missed a really good time. [Liquid Lapdance via Jezebel]