13 Ways Our Exes Got It Together After We Broke Up (In GIFs!)

Exes, right? They’re all oozing out of the ground like primordial sludge when you date them, and then suddenly, after you break up, they become fully functioning human beings! How does that work? If you, like me, have a few exes that you met while they were clawing their way up into real-personhood, you’re probably amazed by some of the changes they’ve gone through since you guys were together. Was your time with them in any way responsible for their radical transformation? Have they progressed? Regressed? Become totally awesome or incredible shits? After the jump, we catalog some of the ways our exes got their lives together after, much after, we broke up.

great gatsby gif

1. Retired a millionaire at age 34, got married and traveled around the world eating at Michelin restaurants in every country.

jennifer lawrence he got married got a dog and bought a house

2. He got married, got a dog and bought a house. He was a struggling musician when we were together.

3. Learned how to bake and now makes pecan pies every weekend, even though he never cooked once for me.

ex boyfriend got a dog

4. He got a dog and is now responsible for it when he couldn’t even wipe his own butt before.

stalking my ex in hawaii

5. He and his new girlfriend went to Hawaii. I might have stalked the entire trip over Instagram.

learned how to cook for his new girlfriend

6. He learned how to cook for his new girlfriend, but while we were dating he only ate family-size bags of BBQ chips, fast food, and ice tea cooler.

things are exes did after we broke up

7. Married the woman he left me for and bought a house in Brooklyn. Womp womp.

She became a competitive fitness model

8. She became a competitive fitness model.

he convinced me to eat meat while we were dating and then became a vegan chef

9. He convinced me to eat meat while we were together and then became a huge vegetarian / vegan cook!

he took up bike riding

10. He took up cycling after we broke up and started doing 100 mile bike rides every single weekend. While wearing spandex.

he left me when i was pregnant and now he is a stepdad to three kids

11. My ex left me when I was pregnant with OUR son because he didn’t want kids, and now he’s a stepdad to three kids that aren’t his. Does that count? [ED NOTE: Hell yes, it counts!]

he bought a motorcycle

12. He bought a motorcycle.

she got a job

13. She got a job.