Just over a month ago, Nigella Lawson’s husband announced the couple would divorce and released a douchey statement condemning his soon-to-be ex-wife. See, Charles Saatchi was upset that after he was photographed choking his wife inside a London restaurant, she did not publicly to defend him. He claimed to “abhor” violence against women and explained he was only grasping Lawson’s neck, while she was crying, to get her attention.
Their divorce was finalized last month. Lawson has not made a public statement regarding the abuse or the divorce and apparently has not been in contact with Saatchi either. Now Saatchi is reportedly begging the celebrity chef to take him back and threatening to hurt himself if she won’t acknowledge him. You know, basic textbook abuser stuff.
According to The New York Post, Saatchi has been “bombarding his now former wife with texts and phone calls and making threats to harm himself if she doesn’t call him.” A source told the paper, “One minute he’s pleading, the next bullying.”
One way an abuser controls their partner is through making threats to harm himself or herself, like Saatchi allegedly has, or making suicidal threats. While the abuser might indeed be in great pain, such threats are used manipulatively to get the victim to respond to them (thus proving they have some leverage in their life). These threats put the victim in the position of feeling like they have to respond to the behavior or else it will be their fault if the threats are carried through.
I truly hope that Nigella Lawson has a good support network in her life. As we’ve seen with Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, and Rihanna and Chris Brown, it’s fairly common for the victim to eventually go back to their abuser. In fact, according to statistics touted by domestic violence experts, it takes a victim seven or eight times to leave before he or she finally goes for good.
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