What the fucking fuck?! All domestic violence is horrible. This domestic violence incident has an extra layer of horribleness: Derek Medina of Miami, Florida, fatally shot his wife, Jennifer Alfonso, 26, and then posted a photo of her dead body on Facebook. Especially terrifying is that all this happened while Alfonso’s 10-year-old daughter was in the house.
Underneath the photo, Medina wrote on Facebook:
Im going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife love you guys miss you guys take care Facebook people you will see me in the news my wife was punching me and I am not going to stand anymore with the abuse so I did what I did I hope u understand me
There’s so much in that message which illustrates the mindset of an abuser. He is blaming his dead wife for her own death. He looks for, if not sympathy, understanding from other people to justify his actions. He seems crazy, but he also shows how abusers also believe that other people will forgive or redeem them somehow, believing their behavior was ultimately justified. It’s a scary world we live in that a murderer would actually think that.
According to the Miami Herald, Medina and his wife were arguing when he went upstairs to get his gun, which he pointed at Alfonso. She then told Medina that she was “leaving him” and grabbed herself a knife. (The most dangerous time for a survivor of abuse is when trying to leave the relationship, the National Network To End Domestic Violence notes.) Medina somehow got Alfonso to put the knife down, but then she began punching and kicking him; he shot her several times.
Alfonso’s former boss told the Herald that Medina was “controlling,” “extremely jealous,” had hit her before, and pressured her to quit her job because he didn’t want her working nights. Said the boss, “He wouldn’t even let her talk on the phone.” These are also very typical behaviors of an abuser, like trying to isolate the victim from a source of income and social support.
Medina turned himself in on Thursday afternoon. The post and photograph remained posted for several hours on Facebook before it was removed on Thursday.
Learn more about abuse in relationships at the National Domestic Violence Hotline website. If you are in an abusive relationship and need help, call 1-800-799-SAFE.
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