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Pie Chart: An Impressive Catalog Of All The Things We Have Purchased While Drunk

items we have purchased while drunk

See larger version here.

To be drunk and to find yourself perusing the latest in helicopter camera drone technology is to be human. To actually purchase said helicopter camera drone technology off of Amazon.com is an entirely different thing.

And yet! We’ve done it. Or we know someone who’s done it, anyway. Drunk shopping is rarely a good idea, but that’s never stopped us from brazenly logging on to UrbanOutfitters.com, our credit card numbers memorized,  with a hankering for crop tops. The Frisky staff divulged their most embarrassing drunk purchases, and polled friends and family on their biggest drunk splurges. (You can see a larger version of our most embarrassing purchases here.)

Here’s what we found:

Clockwise from top left:

  • Makeup: The Sephora store, if it’s early enough. The Walgreen’s if it’s later. Sometimes, a drunk jaunt through Target will involve a pit stop in the skincare aisle. You really needed Biore strips in bulk, right?
  • Junk food: Pizza, tacos, ice cream, (in Ami’s case) frozen yogurt. More pizza. French fries.
  • Justin Bieber CDs: “My roommate purchased the entire Justin Bieber album on itunes— she hates herself and is thoroughly enjoying it.
  • Will Smith business cards: “They had a cartoon image of children holding hands around the earth. Above that was my full birth name along with my title “professional consultant.” On the back was a picture of Will Smith with some generic quote––something to the effect of ‘be the change you wish to see in the world.’ And then in small text it also mentioned that you shouldn’t call me on Tuesdays.
  • Tupperware: You’re gonna need that to store your Will Smith biz cards.
  • A ball pit: A good idea drunk or sober.
  • Dolly Parton prayer candle: “I bought my Dolly Parton prayer candle while tipsy (best decision of my life).”
  • A helicopter camera drone: “Go head and include it on your list if you want. No names, right?”
  • Overpriced clothing and accessories: I now own a $300 ugly coat I’ll never wear thanks to vodka and his friend tonic.
  • Sad lady books: “I once bought extremely slutty lingerie AND a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You simultaneously on Amazon. I completely forgot about it and then when it arrived I felt that much worse about being single.”
  • Jesus pillows: “For some reason I will never know, a few years ago I spent actual money on this.”
  • Ukuleles and harmonicas: After a couple too many Bloody Mary’s, I dragged my friend Shane to the music store and purchased a baritone ukulele. Whoops! Other popular drunk instrument purchases include ukuleles and flutes.
  • Drugs and drug paraphernalia: This one’s kind of self-explanatory, no?
We’ve shared ours, so go ahead and tell us the weirdest thing you’ve ever drunk purchased in the comments!
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