Tara Reid … she’s back, bitches! And just in time for Shark Week. Last night, the “Sharknado” star appeared on Discovery Channel’s “Shark After Dark,” where she schooled us all on whale sharks, which she initially thought were the product of whales and sharks mating, but then she realized that whales and sharks can’t have sex because they are mammals and animals respectively. That’s when she figured out that a whale shark is a breed of shark. And she said this all in one breath. God, I feel like starring in “Sharknado” was the best career decision she ever made. I think Tara’s next move is to host a nature show. How fun would that be?
In other, more somber shark-related news, a baby sand shark was found dead on my subway line last night. Not while I was on the subway, but on the very same train that takes me home, that I had ridden merely one hour earlier.
“I board a car that’s not terribly full and as soon as I enter, a stench hits my nose. It’s not the typical urine/trash smell, it’s…fishy? I look down to the end of the car to see a dead shark on the floor,” said the subway rider who discovered the deceased animal. The MTA has confirmed that the shark was indeed real, and not some sick Shark Week prank. I can’t say I’m surprised though, this guy was caught selling sharks on the subway last summer. I’ll bet it was one of his. Not cool. Below, a picture of the deceased fellow. Sad face.