Albuquerque Has A New Mascot … And It’s Totally Meth

Not that we blame them. “Breaking Bad” has totally transformed Albuquerque from that random city that’s spelled weird to the meth capital of the world. What else were the great capitalists of New Mexico supposed to do besides squeeze every last penny from their infamous, regionalized crystal? In honor of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman’s “Blue Sky” meth (99.1 percent pure, thankyouverymuch), the good businessmen of the Southwestern city have been selling donuts, bath salts, and candy all in the name of the fictional, highly addictive, and massively illegal drug.

One tasty treat they serve that’s laced with fake, druggy-goodness is the Blue Sky donut, frosted and coated in blue candy sugar, and sold at gourmet shop Rebel Donuts. Additionally, The Candy Lady is giving us all a chance to have a “taste” with another sweet — the actual candy-prop they use on set which the maker describes as just “rock candy with blue dye.” To finish the BB confectionery trifecta, a Albuquerquean folk artist makes PEZ dispensers in the form of its characters — because who wouldn’t want to eat their sugary rectangles out of a meth king’s neck? (I’m looking at you Gus Fring).

However, if you’re still on your summer diet, or you’re not in the mood to ingest methamphetamine replicas, Great Face and Body provides some lovely blue crystal bath salts to drizzle in your tub when your boss wants to murder you, or you have to deflect the DEA. The same company even holds classes for your first “cook” (making candy, obvs) where you “graduate” with a mug shot.

Oh, but this bustling city is not done yet. In case you ever go temporarily insane and decide to go to Albuquerque on vacation, there’s the BaD trolley tour, where, in like, a nice little trolley ride you see where Heisenberg blew up Tuco’s headquarters, and the laundry mat secretly holding Gus’s giant meth lab.

Watch out Disney, I’m pretty sure a fucking meth theme park is coming next. As a huge “Breaking Bad” fan myself, I understand these are all justifiable, if not necessary, business ventures for a city lacking in recognition and simple phonetics. After all, a city known for its fictitious drug world is better than a city that’s not known at all. [People]

[Image via Great Face And Body]