Review Roundup: Critics Are Split On Whether Lindsay Lohan’s Soft Core Porn Flick “The Canyons” Is A Masterpiece Or A Disaster

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In Review: Critics Are Split On Whether Lindsay Lohan’s Soft Core Porn Flick “The Canyons” Is A Masterpiece Or A Disaster

Lindsay Lohan and James Deen’s much anticipated Bret Easton Ellis-penned “The Canyons” finally opens in theaters — and is available on iTunes — today! Lohan goes topless and participates in an orgy for the film — check out the NSFW version of the photo above here — which is surely enough to get some people’s pervy behinds to the theater, but is it really worth seeing? The critics are mixed in their reactions, to put it mildly. Let’s review the reviews, shall we? And then share whether the film is on your must see list in the comments!

THE GOOD:

Salon:

As a visual symphony, “The Canyons” is often masterful, and while it may be pornographic in places, it’s never campy.

Reason:

[T]he picture marks a striking debut by porn star James Deen, who’s convincingly depraved as a nasty trust-fund brat; and it’s laced with real-life psychodrama of a sort rarely seen in any kind of film. It’s balky and muddled, but it holds your attention almost in spite of itself.

The Wrap:

[T]he Lohan of now, for better or for worse, is perfect for Tara, and it’s a combination of her real-life troubles and her extant skills as an actress that makes this performance work so well. She turns what could have been a voyeuristic turn into a genuine glimpse at a broken soul.

Entertainment Weekly:

There is much … noirish kink and duplicity on hand. But Schrader tries to find the human side of it all, and he scores with Lohan, who taps a vulnerability beneath her dissolution to remind you why she’s still a movie star.

THE BAD:

Rolling Stone:

If the subtext of this misbegotten parade of lame shock tactics is the death of cinema, then “The Canyons” certainly knows how to nail the coffin shut.

New York:

“The Canyons” isn’t just bad, it’s rank — and it takes a peculiar sort of integrity to denude the frame of life to the point where it smells to heaven.

The New York Post:

I’ve seen high school hygiene films that are steamier than this snoozer, notwithstanding the underwhelming “mainstream” debut of popular porn star James Deen, who shouldn’t give up his day job.

MLive.com:

It’s something you’d watch when you need to catch up on your magazine reading… Even as exploitation, “The Canyons” is a failure.

Bloomberg News:

Any hope of sneaky commentary or ironic appropriation of porn’s tawdry incompetence disappears long before Deen’s pants.

NPR:

Conversational scenes feel as stilted and under-rehearsed as the ones in daytime soap operas — or, probably to Deen’s disappointment, the porn flicks one suspects he’s trying to transition away from. If the film is supposed to be an erotic thriller, it fails there too; the sex scenes are about as titillating as a subpar entry in the “Red Shoe Diaries.”

The New York Times:

A dispiriting, unpleasurable work punctuated with flashes of vitalizing vulgarity.

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