When it comes to what women find erotic, really, anything goes. There’s the regular stuff — kissing, touching, oral sex, sex, erotica or porn. Easy to talk about! It really turns me on when you put your mouth on my vagina. And then there’s the grittier stuff, but still fairly standard — dirty talk, sex toys, light bondage, butt play. Edgier, but still completely approachable. I want you to tie me up and fuck me in the ass. But then there are those other things that turn us on, that we can hardly explain, that may even make us feel uncomfortable. Like when you’re spelunking through the bowels of the internet and you find a picture of naked, male conjoined twins and you start to get aroused and you’re just kind of like, Why the hell is this making me want to diddle myself? You’re not exactly going to tell your friends about it, or even your partner. Can you imagine? Hey honey, I was thinking we would try some conjoined twin play tonight. No way. Below, a number of women shared their weirdest, most bizarre turn-ons. You know, the ones that they would never admit to anyone, except millions of anonymous strangers online.
1. Naked, conjoined twins. Pictured above. Do they have a penis? Two penises? We have a fantasy where we find out.
2. Being called a “good girl” in bed. Damn you, Robin Thicke, you’ve blurred the lines of my arousal.
3. Facials and or/ butt facials. Sue us for wanting to be an across the board cum canvas.
4. Beer guts. Tubby bellies are so fun to pinch and squeeze and watch bounce up and down during sex.
5. Being spit on. Sometimes on the vaj…
6. Mens’ thigh meat. So firm compared to ours, which makes it all the more fun to take a bite out of.
7. FetLife message boards. The best place ever to get an S&M fix.
8. Armpit hair on men and women. It must be all the pheromones up in there that get us hot and bothered.
9. A bald man’s sweaty head. There’s no hair to catch the sweat and it just drips and drips and drips like a never-ending sex faucet.
10. “Supernatural” fan fiction. You don’t have to watch the show to get aroused by the fan fiction.
11. Reading the Craigslist casual encounters section. Some of those are really dirty.
12. Giant pythons. They are reminiscent of large cocks.
13. Sticking fingers and toys in mens’ butts. So, turns out it’s hot to watch a straight man get it in the ass.
14. Super skinny dudes with no body hair. The gay community calls them otters. We don’t care, we just want to swim with them.
15. Boob sucking that mimics breastfeeding. It must be some primal motherhood thing.
16. Undercover handjobs on reality TV. Ahem. “Big Brother” live feeds.
17. Some — though not tons of — back hair. It’s a texture thing.
18. Christian wife spanking blogs. They’re like porn. Seriously.
19. Licking inside the ear. Wet Williessssssss.
20. Getting our hair shampooed. Makes us feisty.
21. Southern Californian accents. It would be, like totally rad if you talked dirty with that accent, dude.