The “Perfect Woman” Doesn’t Smoke, Drink, Gossip Or Curse, According To Vanity Fair Poll

A new Vanity Fair/”60 Minutes” poll surveyed American adults about the qualities they look for in an ideal woman. And, by George, we’ve got one: she’s a “bold and experienced” “good mother” who hates the movie “Fatal Attraction,” doesn’t smoke, and is a doctor. But don’t feel bad if that doesn’t describe you … because it doesn’t describe most of us.

Here’s a closer look at the stats so you know exactly what you should be like, if you want to make a bunch of random people who read Vanity Fair and/or watch “60 Minutes” like you:

  • Being a “good mom” topped the list for the most important quality in a woman with 39 percent of the vote; “brains” weren’t far behind with a third of the vote. “Beauty” scored the lowest with only one percent of the vote. Suh-weet.
  • Over half say a “bold and experienced” woman is most desirable, with a third checking off “sweet and innocent.”
  • Things she would absolutely not do, besides smoke? Get plastic surgery, overeat (oops), gossip (oops, again), own cats (fair), drink (triple oops), or curse (I can’t win).
  • Generally, she should be more like Penny from “The Big Bang Theory,” because 23 percent think she is the most marriageable TV character.
  • But not too many men are optimistic that they’ll be able to find their quirky Kaley Cuoco lookalike: almost two-thirds think a good woman is hard to find, meaning they’ve met a ton of females who love the “Twilight” movies. Yup, that’s a dealbreaker for 21 percent of them.
  • But if they find her, they’re willing to give up A LOT: over half of men would give up religion, friends or 10 years from their life for that special lady friend.
  • And whatever you do, don’t be a mechanic or contractor — the least amount of people feel comfortable with women in those jobs, while most are happy to go to a female doctor for a check-up. What a strange, sexist finding.

So there you have it, I’ve officially brought you one step closer to being the ideal woman of 1,1017 strangers across the country. You can thank me later.  [Vanity Fair]

[Photo courtesy of Getty Images]