My obsession with “Big Brother” has crossed a line, you guys. Ever since I got the live feeds for this season, I haven’t been able to focus on anything else. I mean, the CBS show itself is alright, but the live feeds are 24/7 and feature tomfoolery they would never show on television. That’s why I can’t turn them off. Click on for 20 signs that you or someone you love is also completely and totally addicted to the “Big Brother 15″ live feeds (in “BB15″ GIFs obviously)…
1. For starters, you’ve actually subscribed to the Live Feeds, you freak.
2. You’re determined to track down Judd’s bear shirt and buy one for yourself.
3. Oh yeah, you now fluently speak Judd.
4. You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes when someone who doesn’t watch the live feeds expresses an opinion about the show that demonstrates how little they know about what is actually going on in the house, like, seriously.
5. You are really, really, really sick of Andy’s constant cockblocking.
6. You’ve been late to work a bunch lately because, like Judd in solitary, you’ve slept through your alarm — all because you were up till 3:30 a.m. watching McCranda cuddle.
7. “BB” house drama has started to infiltrate your dreams to the point where you wake up unsure of what is real.
8. You’ve thought up a number of different potential slop recipes. Maybe Amanda would be interested in collaborating on a cookbook when she gets out?
9. You’ve canceled Thursday plans not because you necessarily need to watch the live eviction episode — as a feedster, you already know who’s getting voted out — but because you want to see what fallout happens on the feeds afterwards.
10. You’ve shouted “Feeds are back!” in front of people who neither know what you’re talking about, nor care.
11. You figured out McCrae was hung like a race horse before Amanda confirmed it.
12. The last time you wanted to assert your authority in a situation, you announced, “This is my HOH!”
13. Your new party trick is listing the houseguests in order of who poops the most.
14. If you see McCrae’s Minnesota T-shirt, plaid pajama pants and oversized, not-fully-buttoned dress shirt one more time, you are going to flip a mattress.
15. Drunk malfunctioning fembot Elissa is your favorite Elissa.
16. You keep a log of all evidence that production is trying desperately to fix the outcome of this season and are enraged — ENRAAAAGED — about it.
17. You are considering doubling your anxiety medication dosage, at least on Saturdays, which is totally the most stressful day of the “Big Brother” week. I mean, the MVP nomination and the Veto competition? Such a nail-biter of a day, you guys.
18. Your belief in love hinges on whether McCrae and Amanda make it work outside the house. Their relationship hasn’t been portrayed on the TV show as serious as it actually is — they’ve said “I love you” and they talk about making McCrabies! — but it’s right up there with Bey and Jay. Like, if they break up, you’ll cry harder than GinaMarie after Nick’s eviction.
19. You were thrilled when Elissa’s own fans accidentally nominated her for eviction because it proved reading comprehension isn’t their strong suit.
20. You have lost more Twitter followers than you can count thanks to your constant updates about “Big Brother” minutiae.