3 Reasons I’m Ready To Give Up On “Dexter”

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Dexter

Remember the good ol’ days of “Dexter”? When the 6′ 4″ Trinity Killer performed his closeted kill rituals and physically abused his family behind closed doors? Or the Ice Truck Killer, who painted his victim’s fingernails different colors as a special message to Dexter? Remember when Dexter was, you know, busy tracking and killing these deranged serial killers, while struggling not to get caught by his family and coworkers?

Unfortunately, those days of wholesome fun are over. “Dexter” is now a shell of the show it used to be, with each season becoming less and less compelling. Here are three things that are really rubbing me the wrong way in “Dexter”‘s final season…

1. Debbie Downer. First of all, if I have to listen to dirty-haired Deb’s manic, stuttering squeals about how Dexter ruined her life one more time, I’m going to Saran wrap myself to Dexter’s table. And Dex, I know you’re a psychopath devoid of human emotions, but take a fucking hint. I can’t even keep track of how many times we’ve watched this exact same scenario: Dex tries to help Deb. Deb refuses and blames him for everything wrong in her life. Dex agrees with her and ponders getting out her life for, like, a second. Dexter realizes he just can’t because he’s a family-first kind of serial killer (who spends zero time with his son). Rinse, repeat.

2. Weak Supporting Character Storylines. Someone please enlighten me about the purpose of Quinn and Jaime? And oh my god, whoooooooo cares about Masuka’s sperm donor daughter? Not I! Rita and her bratty kids I could handle. Batista marrying LaGuerta? Cool. I even didn’t mind Hannah McKay’s familial dirt (that much). But these new sub storylines seem so forced, inconsequential, and dull

3. It’s Become One-Dimensional And Cliche. What is the deal with Vogel? She’s sometimes intriguing, but I literally can’t take anything she says seriously when she’s supposedly a renowned neuropsychiatrist who calls serial killers “perfect.” She’s like a sad rip-off of a character from a Thomas Harris novel. Lemme guess: she turns out to be a cannibal!?

What happened to the crafty villains that always gave Dex a run for his money? When he always had to wriggle his way out of hopeless situations? When every person that knew about his serial-killing ways ultimately became a threat? Where is the dry humor? Now the only thing we can be expected to chuckle at is yet another one of Masuka’s lame sex jokes.

I know it’s “Dexter”‘s last season and the writers are trying to tie up loose ends and have everything come full circle, but can they at least not copy and paste the same conversation between Dex and Deb into every single episode? And, also, cut the Quinn and Jaime crap. Hell, get rid of Jaime, period. And as for Vogel, if she’s going to be an integral part of every episode, make her a little more multi-dimensional than some cliché psychiatric quack. I’d like to see her lose her cool smugness, or argue with Dexter instead of always being his cheerleader. 

Most of all, I’d like to see “Dexter” go back to what this show has always been about — a vigilante serial killer having a helluva good time killing other serial killers. Time’s a-wastin’, Showtime. “Dexter” better go out with a bang, not a whimper.

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