8 Bizarre “How To” Sex Videos I Randomly Found On YouTube (NSFWish)

It’s one of those almost 100-degree days when you feel so sweaty that your brain kind of shuts down and you experience ennui that can only be cured by frozen yogurt, Prancercise gifs or old clips of the “Maury Povich Show” (thank you, Julie). It was in this state that found myself in a dark corner of the internet searching for “how to” sex videos…oh, just cuz that seemed like the right thing to do today. IT WAS. From an animated, dancing penis with a face to how to make sexual bird calls at a hobo, watching these videos is the equivalent of rubbing ice cubes on your brain.  Please enjoy the weirdest instructional sex videos YouTube has to offer. While they are not of the hardcore variety, they may still be a little NSFW, so proceed with caution.

Lesson #1: Male/Female Masturbation.

Really, the only people who should teach you how to masturbate are a couple of animated robots. Male and female, respectively.

Lesson #2: More Male Masturbation.

Or maybe you’d prefer to learn about the act of masturbation from dancing penis who rains semen. You guys, I don’t know if I feel embarrassed or scared right now. Scared, I think.

Lesson #3:Car Sex.

What I actually learned from Cecily’s (comedic?) “How To Have Sex In A Car” video is: an alternate way to pronounce “economy” and “Vin Diesel” and how to use bird calls to lure a hobo. In my world, these are valuable things to know.

Lesson #4: Sex Positions.

Many of us have found ourselves in yoga class wondering, How can I have sex while doing a full wheel backbend? Wonder no more.

Lesson #5: Integrative Tantra.

Hmm. I guess Integrative Tantra is like touching on acid to music.

Lesson #6: Responding To Odd Sexual Requests.

Let’s play “Guess What This Man’s Odd Sexual Request Was.” I think it had to do with the preserve of disgraced political figures for sure.

Lesson #7: Female Pubic Hair Styling.

No, I don’t ever want my pubes to look like Charlie Chaplin or MC Hammer. But thanks for the tip!

Lesson #8: Ball Shaving.

And this is how you shave your balls and make your lady happy according to FreeDeezNutz. I don’t know about his balls (he claims they are BIG, but he never actually shows them) but this video made me very happy.