This past weekend, Amelia, Jessica and I went to our awesome marketing manager Sophie’s wedding in Maine. It was so much fun. And so much lobster. (Maine!) There were a bunch of ridiculously cute flower girls there, frolicking on the grass, running around, falling down, dancing, crying, accidentally showing everyone their underwear and generally having a lot of fun. And it was on our way from the ceremony to the reception that it struck us: those little girls are not unlike us when we get drunk. This theory was tested 15 minutes later — thanks to the open bar — when Amelia and I attempted to get the dance party started with these cute kids. They, and us, it seemed, were the only ones willing to make total fools of ourselves (as per the usual).
With that in mind, we thought up a bunch of ways that drunk adult women are sort of totally like 4-year-olds. And there are a lot of ways, trust us. Check out our list after the jump, and share your own theories in the comments.
1. We’ll talk nonsensically for hours.
2. We’ll insist on trying to pick up our friends, whether or not that’s actually physically possible.
3. We both like to take off our clothes at inopportune moments.
4. We tell other people what to do like we’re totally experts. (We’re not experts.)
5. We’ll both try — and fail — to do tricks with our food.
6. But whatever, we both live for snacks.
7. You know, delicious stuff like Night Cheese.
8. We both try to kiss our friends.
10. We’ll cry at the drop of a hat.
17. We’ll both occasionally decide that boys are gross. The grossest.
18. We’ll fall asleep practically anywhere – even if it’s not our bed. Especially if it’s not our bed.