Totally Coveted: Juice, Giant Bags & Jimmy Choos

Welcome to Totally Coveted, our new whenever series documenting all the super ridiculous crap we want but (probably, most certainly) are too sensible to buy. Hey, a girl can dream — about $1,200 shoes — can’t she? Take a peek at what we’re coveting, and then tell us what you’re lusting after in the comments!

1. Blueprint Cleanse, $199 for three days

Julie: Let me be clear. I like food too much to ever really succeed at any kind of juice cleanse. Carbs are delicious and vital. Howevs, I’ve tried the juices over yonder at Blueprint, and the are delicious. Like, “so good you’d drink them even if you weren’t on a cleanse” delicious. But! The program is also kind of price-y, so it’s not like you could be like, cool, let’s order a week’s worth of juice and go to town. Unless you are a rich person who can spend $400 on juice like it’s no big deal. In which case, juice away.

2. Sleeveless Silk Shirt Dress, $325

Winona: I just discovered the Brooklyn-based clothing label Carrie Parry and I’m obsessed with the simple pieces and gorgeous details, like this lavender silk shirt dress with pintucked shoulders. The best part? All Carrie Parry pieces are made in the USA with sustainable fabrics, and for every item sold, the nonprofit program Trees For The Future plants a tree. I’ll definitely be saving up to add one of my many totally coveted Carrie Parry items to my actual closet.

3. Saint Laurent Duffel 6 Bag, $1,990

Rachel: My love of luxury and nice things does not jive very well with the fact that I am a destroyer. It seems like everything I come into contact with eventually becomes damaged in one way or another: I’ve stepped on sunglasses, thrown cashmere in the dryer, spilled smoothies on my keyboard, cracked a heel off a pair of (not cheap!) shoes… it never ends. But ugh, if I could have nice things, just for one day (which is generally about how long they remain intact), I would spring for this ridiculously beautiful blue Yves Saint Laurent satchel, because this hypothetical careful version of me, which need I remind you is not reality and does not exist, would be worth it.

4. Giant Dwarf Silver Sparkler Star Bobby Pins, $18

Rachel: For the uninitiated, the Brooklyn-based jewelry (and more!) boutique Catbird is a veritable mecca, a wonderland of all things dreamy, simply yet perfectly made, and, yes, crazy covetable. I could stock my entire life with their carefully-curated inventory of niche items — I would liken stepping into the tiny storefront to that sinking, must-buy-everything sensation one experiences from time to time upon entering Anthropologie, that oh my god my life will never be this quaint and precious and beautiful and I need to sell my soul and spend my entire income right here right now feeling, but infinitely more authentic and not, you know, owned by Urban Outfitters Ltd. My love letter to the store itself aside, these Twinkle Sparklers in Diamond German Glass Glitter are ridiculously twee, but what girl doesn’t want, nay, NEED a set of star-shaped bobby pins made out of real glass and sterling silver? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

5. Neon Jimmy Choo Sandals, $795

Winona: I sold so many of my clothes and accessories when I moved that I’m left with a wardrobe that’s functional, but pretty boring (I couldn’t justify making room in the car for all the funky pieces I wore a few times a year). You know what would add a big ol’ shot of excitement to my workhorse black cotton dresses and growing collection of cutoff shorts? NEON STILETTO SANDALS. Yes, please!

6. Kate Spade Saturday’s Rectangle Wallet in Natural, $80

Julie: Okay, it’s not that the wallet cost is prohibitively expensive. I’d expect to pay as much for a genuine leather wallet. It’s that this wallet represents a life I do not lead. A life in which I don’t constantly spill crap in my purse. Where pens don’t explode in my bag, where gum doesn’t melt, lipsticks don’t open. I don’t live that life, so I can’t allow myself to have a nude color wallet. Instead, I’ll just admire it from afar.