Dear the movie “Adore,” starring Naomi Watts and Robin Wright,
Let me start by saying that I’m not here as another social media troll who just wants to make fun of your semi-absurd plot. That would just be too easy. I know that you didn’t just turn the satirical “Mother Lover” into a pouty, melodramatic screenplay. After all, I just Googled that your director is French and your writer is British, so they could have been clueless to its existence. However, because we are friends here, I feel it’s only fair to warn you that you’re going to eat a lot of shit for this. I mean, a lot.
You see, if you’ve been on planet Earth lately, you know that the “Saturday Night Live” music video starring Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake went viral a few years back. In it, they don bad ’80s garb and monstrous chin straps while cheering on each other on their crooning quest for mother loving.
Here’s the whole song, in case you missed it:
A snippet from the chorus goes:
I’m a Mother Lover
You’re a Mother Lover
We should fuck each others mothers
[Both:] Fuck each others moms
Pushin’ that place that you came out as a baby
Aint no doubt that shit is crazy
[Both:] Fuckin’ each others moms
Sound familiar? Now, now, don’t bow your head in shame quite yet. While Samberg, Timberlake, Susan Sarandon, and Patricia Clarkson are all happy participants in the multi-generational tryst, I can tell from your your trailer that your plot includes more complex themes like surfing and Australian accents.
But naysayers are going to ignore those details and just see the similarities of, well, fucking each other’s moms. So prepare yourself for the inevitable social media ridicule of GIFs, tweets, and YouTube mashups. But stand tall and proud, semi-incestuous film. After all, you have have Robin Wright and Naomi Watts, two random hot dudes, and the writer from “Atonement.” How bad can you really be?