James Franco has announced that James Franco will be the subject of the next Comedy Central Roast. A roast, if you’re not familiar, is basically where a bunch of comedy friends, frenemies and acquaintances get together to make completely vulgar and tasteless jokes about each other. Comedy! Franco announced his impending ridicule via Instagram (as you do), so it must be real? We have no idea who’s gonna show up — we imagine roast regulars like Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Ross will be there — but to help the powers that be at CC figure out who else to bring along, we’ve compiled this helpful list:
1. Anne Hathway: He left her high and dry hosting the Oscars a few years ago and payback is a bitch.
2. Riff Raff: Obvs. Franco basically stole his entire thing from Riff Raff to play the drug dealer Alien in the movie “Spring Breakers.” Judging from this performance on “One Life To Live” as “Franko” he’ll have a lot to say.
4. Stephen Colbert: Remember the time Franco tried to educate Colbert about modern art? Yeah, that was ridiculous. (Incidentally this interview is also worth watching because of Franco and Colbert’s “Lord of the Rings” nerd off.)
6. James Franco’s miniature James Franco doll, James Franco: Mini-James Franco is by James Franco’s side as he writes his next book/films his next movie/invents a new snack delight. He sees it all.
7. Kimiko, his body pillow: She can talk about what James Franco is really like (in bed). Kamiko-tan!
8. The rock he was stuck under during “127 Hours”: God, that rock spend a lot of time with James Franco.
9. The 5,000 professors he’s had while pursuing 17 simultaneous degrees: Never forget.