Adam Levine is my secret celebrity crush. He’s got this weird, tattooed, skeezy charm about him that somehow really works. Perhaps it’s because “This Love” is the one song I always find myself singing along to in Duane Reade, or because his delivery on the chorus of “Moves Like Jagger” sounds like “loose vagina,” or because he is the handsomest judge on “The Voice,” and he manages to make a torn T-shirt look good. Whatever it is, Adam Levine possesses an imprecise combination of playboyish and charming that makes him irresistible. You know, I bet he’d be good to sit down and have a chat with about love, right? He’s got tons of experience, and I’d love nothing more than to gaze into his eyes while he tells me like it is. Through the magic of the internet, it’s now possible! Join me on this GIF journey as Adam Levine shares his best advice on the pursuit of tail.
1. Sometimes being coy works really well. It’s not always necessary to lay it on thick. If you’re more of a shrinking violet than a Chatty Cathy, go with how you feel, girl.
2. If being coy isn’t your bag, I cannot say enough about the transformative power of a good, solid wink.
3. Don’t self-neg! This kind of false modesty is not endearing. Be confident — supremely confident — in your abilities, appearance, all of it. You are the total package.
4. Maintain good eye contact. Put your phone down. Candy Crush can wait.
5. If you’re running late, don’t text, call! Simply pop into the nearest phone booth — or use that cellphone of yours for its original intended purpose — and show them you really care.
6. For the ultimate in modern kissing techniques, try to get your entire mouth into the mouth of your intended. Take notes from the GIF below.
You should be all set! Take these tips out into the world, give ‘em a whirl and good luck!