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Don't do it!
woman smashing computer

You’d think after a million kazillion years in existence, Mercury, the planet of communication, coordination, thought processes and travel, would figure out how to get moving in the right direction. But alas, it’s started moving backwards in its orbit yet again, which means lots of chaos for us mortals. From now until July 20th, you should expect things to get messy. Yes, Ami spilled her salad on her foot today, but that’s not the kind of mess we speak of. Mercury in retrograde leaves in its wake epic miscommunications, technological meltdowns, and general mishaps of all sorts. Which basically means, back up your hard drive, expect delays at the airport, and for God’s sake, watch your tongue when having a serious conversation of any type with the people you love. The next 19 days are going to be rough. May we suggest giving yourself small daily rewards during this time of reversals, errors, delays and malfunctions? Here are 19 ideas, one for each day until Mercury finally rights itself again. Trust us, you’re gonna need ‘em.

1. Cold brew iced coffee. Heavenly on a hot day.

2. A mani/pedi. Remember when your computer crashed right before you saved your thesis? Pink polish and a foot massage can help you forget about it. At least momentarily.

3. A funny story (either telling one or hearing one). For example, that time Ami dropped her salad on her foot and was like, “FUCK RETROGRADE.”

4. Turning off your cellphone, curling up on the couch, and reading a great book for 2 hours. No interruptions, no apologies.

5. A slice of pepperoni pizza. One of life’s great pleasures, and it’s like 2 bucks. Do it.

6. A screening of “Before Midnight.” Because it’s the perfect movie to see during retrograde.

7. Listening to an all Rolling Stones mix on Spotify. Let Mick’s voice soothe you in this time of chaos.

8. Getting a trim. Best not risk a full haircut during MR (“Wait, I thought you said you wanted a half-shaved pixie?” –your hairstylist), but damn if a fresh trim doesn’t do wonders for your attitude.

9. A solo bike ride. It’s good for your soul.

10. Buying yourself a new vinyl record. There’s no chance it will get erased when MR attacks your iTunes library, plus the cover art is gorgeous.

11. Happy hour on a patio. White wine and a breeze cures all ills.

12. Watching YouTube videos of Ben Vereen in “Pippin.” Or whatever type of video makes you laugh/smile/cry in a good way.

13. Making a pitcher of ice water with lemon and cucumber. It’s like a spa in your fridge. Amazing.

14. Planning your next vacation. Don’t actually buy tickets or anything, but start letting your mind wander toward your next getaway. (Check out our travel bucket list for ideas!)

15. A new exfoliating body scrub. Take your time picking it out. Smell every single one.

16. A scoop of gelato. May we suggest peach? So good.

17. Laying in the park with a stack of magazines. Feel free to pretend to read them while actually watching everyone around you have MR-related breakdowns.

18. Going to a matinee alone. The more ridiculous the movie and the bigger the tub of popcorn, the better.

19. A rooftop gathering for your closest friends. The ones who will be least offended when you accidentally say something awful or spill salad on their foot. Good luck!

 [Photo of woman smashing computer via Shutterstock]

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