Up until he underwent a grueling 13-hour surgery, Wesley Warren Jr. had 132-pound testicles. In 2009, after crushing his testicles in his sleep, Warren Jr., developed a disorder called “scrotal lymphedema” (also known as scrotal elephantiasis). His balls swelled to a gargantuan size, and his titanic testes were so massive that he toyed with the idea of selling the boys on eBay, which, oddly enough, is not all that rare of an idea. In his condition, Warren was unable to have sex and experienced tons of pain. Also, apparently carrying around testicles the size of another human is not especially good for one’s health. Considering all of these things, the surgery that brought his testicles back down to average size sounds like the best possible scenario, right?
No, not according to Warren. The surgery has left him with a penis that is a mere inch long. He told the UK’s Sun newspaper:
“I know the majority of people are probably expecting me to express extreme happiness and glee that my life has been transformed since the sac has been removed – but it’s not as simple as that. I do feel a great sense of comfort that the weight is no longer between my legs. It got to the point that it was a danger to my health. When I look down at what’s here now it’s not the same as what it was. It’s totally different.”
Okay, we know it’s not the size of the ship that counts, it’s the motion of the ocean. But can’t this poor dude catch a break?
A word of encouragement to Warren: the jury still seems to be out on how much size matters.