I don’t know about you, but to me, nothing screams “hilarity” quite like bestiality.
In no-one-gets-the-joke news, Shuan Keith Orris was arrested for disorderly conduct and carrying a concealed weapon after things got violent when questioning bar patrons about their thoughts on fornicating with goats. He was apparently making the rounds at a Wisconsin bar, asking the strangers if they thought it was their Constitutional right to have sex with goats. You know, typical small talk.
But apparently those midwestern bores just don’t know how to hold a good conversation these days, which prompted the owner of the bar to ask Orris to leave. A physical dispute broke out between the two men, causing Orris a cut on his head. He then went home, grabbed a pocket knife (obviously to protect his Constitutional rights) and returned to the bar, only to be arrested. Somewhere in the midst of that, he called the police for his assault wound.
And in case you were wondering how Orris felt about the issue, he shouted it was his Constitutional right to have sex with goats before “uncontrollably laughing” on his way to the hospital. Hilarious.
Remarkably, his blood alcohol level was .00.
Mr. Orris, after this you might have trouble getting a human to have sex with you, let alone a goat.
[Image of goat via Getty Images]