Welcome to Totally Coveted, our new whenever series documenting all the super ridiculous crap we want but (probably, most certainly) are too sensible to buy. Hey, a girl can dream — about $1,200 shoes — can’t she? Take a peek at what we’re coveting, and then tell us what you’re lusting after in the comments!
1. Cenoire Eluo Ultra Sonic Toothbrush, $24.99
Julie: Do you need a $25 electric toothbrush? Well, no. But geez does it make brushing your teeth so much better. The folks at Cenoire sent me one of their snazzy teeth cleaners last month, explaining that it was an electric toothbrush made specifically for women. What, exactly, makes it just for lady mouths? Like, will it detect if a human without boobs uses it and shut down? Unclear. But either way, an electronic tooth brush is a fantastic game changer. I always thought that it was just insanely lazy to use one of those things. I was wrong.
Julie: I lose pretty much every pair of sunglasses I own. Like, I’m probably literally losing a pair as we speak. Even so, I can’t help but dream of these super cool Rachel Comey shades in camouflage print. They’ve got basic tortoiseshell shades beat by a mile.
3. Trina Turk Vega Dress, $398
Winona: This sequined Trina Turk dress is called “Vega,” but it really should be called “Vegas,” which is where I want to wear it. Specifically, in the front row of Celine Dion’s show.
4. Ann Demeulemeester Strappy Wedge Boot, $1175
Rachel: Ann Demeulemeester’s dark, dreamy runway collections have been speaking to my similarly dark, dreamy soul season after season since I registered for a Style.com account in 2008, long before I knew much at all about fashion (or anything about the Antwerp Six). Her romantic Ready-to-Wear qualifies as a total “oh, if only I were that girl” pipe dream for my jeans-clad self, but her kickass black leather boots? Now that’s something the real me (not to mention Demeulemeester’s close friend Patti Smith, who’s been quoted as saying she exclusively wears vintage or Ann Demeulemeester) can get behind a million times over. The close-toed incarnations of my long-running dreams are a bit too heavy to even think about during the summer, which we’re currently in the thick of… so I’d settle (ha!) for these sick strappy open wedge ankle boots. And yes, by settle, I of course mean die for.
5. Egyptian Magic Cream, $40
Winona: Egyptian Magic Cream costs $40 for a 4-ounce jar and the only reason I want it is because in every soggy magazine I read at the gym there’s always an interview with Kate Hudson saying it’s her secret to perfect skin and sexy beach hair. She never really gives more information than that, and I’m sure she’s being paid to say it, but still, WANT.
6. Jacquie Aiche “Fuck” Ring, $132
Rachel: It’s no secret: I love a well-placed swear word. Actually, come to think of it, fuck well-placed! My speech and writing alike are equally peppered with casual vulgarity — it’s not very ladylike, to be sure, but frankly my aspirations err more to the side of “the most entertaining person you’ve ever met” than “fit for the company of the Queen.” I would fork over $132 in a flash for this deceptively dainty yellow gold-plated ring, but the normal sizes would dwarf my deceptively dainty size 4 ring finger. A shame!