Man Calls 911 Because His “Prostitute Is Too Ugly”

Emergency services are there for you to call when you’re short on Kool-Aid and weed, or to bitch about your mom, or, in the case of an unnamed British guy in West Midlands, England, to complain that the prostitute you’ve hired isn’t attractive enough. The guy called the British equivalent of 911 and told the dispatcher that the prostitute he’d hired was unattractive. And to make matters worse, after he’d told her that and refused to pay her, she took his keys and threw them at him.

The emergency dispatcher’s recording includes the man explaining that the prostitute “got her knickers in a twist” over his insults. “She mis-described and misrepresented herself totally,” said the man. “She was angry––she thinks I owe her a living or something.” Hmm, we’ll marinate on that one for a minute. “It was unbelievable,” said Sergeant Jerome Moran, who helped the dispatcher handle the call. “He believed he had done nothing wrong and that the woman should have been investigated by police for misrepresentation.” What’s more, after Moran told him that it was inappropriate to call an emergency line to complain about an illegal transaction, the man threatened to come down to the station and discuss the incident in person. Thankfully, he never followed through. [Metro]