hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;
I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.
your daughter must be so proud.
please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.
oh and I’m sure they’ll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o’clock shadow. bye!
– Charlie Sheen may totally be the worst, but damn if he didn’t write the best kiss-off email ever. This is the note he sent to “Back Door Teen Mom” Farrah Abraham, after she allegedly sold screenshots of the text messages they exchanged to TMZ. Not loving the “tranny-boobs” remark (let’s leave trans people out of this, okay, Carlos?), but “desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua’ and “pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life” is pure poetry. [TMZ]