Weddings! So much could go wrong! The chocolate fountain could run out or the babies’ breadth could wilt or your venue could fall through 20 days before the wedding. (Actually, that last one happened to Andrea.) All brides and grooms are a little bit anxious about the big day, but it’s easy to let the Wedding Industrial Complex convince you everything is going to go wrong (unless you buy more stuff, of course!). Unfortunately, anxiety over inane little problems is like that orange mold on your shower curtain liner: it feeds on itself until it’s totally out of control and it becomes the problem. And no one, not even your Great Aunt Ruth who thought you should have used cloth napkins, wants to really ruin the big day.
Here’s a couple of so-called “disasters” you think you won’t survive at your wedding … and how we think you should handle it all instead.
Your three-year-old flower girl refuses to walk down the aisle.
A cell phone goes off during the service. And the ring tone is “Thong Song.”
The best man’s toast begins with the story of that “lost weekend” in a Czech jail that NO ONE was supposed to know about …
… and then he rambles on way too long.
Your alcoholic aunt just loves the open bar.
“So when are you having kids?”
And now one of the groomsmen is hitting on your 16-year-old cousin.
Planning all this shit is FINALLY over!
Your friends are dancing their asses off!
You’re married to the love of your life!
And there’s cake!
Everyone’s having a great time. TRUST.
So if anyone complains about anything, you just tell them you’re sooooo glad they could make it …
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[Worried bride photo via Shutterstock]