Oh, hi Dave! It’s been really fun dating you for the past couple of years! I’m so glad we moved in together, so that when I found out you were cheating on me with Kelsi, it was easier for me to find and hide all of your precious belongings. Here’s this fun scavenger hunt I put together, commemorating some of the more important moments in our relationship (or should I say fauxlationship?). You were always shitty at remembering my birthday/Valentine’s Day/the color of my eyes, so I’m sure you’ll have no trouble figuring out where you crap is.
See you never! Love, Ally.
– The Post-it note that I imagine was stuck on this amazingggggg letter one frustrated girlfriend wrote to her lyin’ cheatin’ boyfriend. [Metro]